Motherhood is harder than most mothers allow themselves to acknowledge publicly. The exhaustion, the loss of self, the boredom mixed with love, the ambivalence — these are normal and rarely discussed honestly. Having one friend you can cry with, without performance or judgment, is one of the most protective relationships you can have.
What this friendship looks like
You don't have to perform 'fine'. They don't try to fix; they listen. They don't compete on hardship. They don't share what you said with others. The conversations are honest about ambivalence, exhaustion, and difficulty as well as joy.
Where to find it
Often an existing friend who's also a mother and has shown safety with vulnerability. Sometimes built deliberately with mothers from baby groups or NCT classes who you sense are similarly honest. Occasionally a therapist if no friend fills the role.
Most mothers carry significant emotional load they never voice. Having one place where you can voice it changes the experience of the whole.