In most heterosexual families, mothers are 'default parent' — the one schools call first, the one tracking medical appointments, the one school knows by face. The pattern compounds over years and is exhausting. Redistribution is structural work, not just communication.
What 'redistribution' actually requires
Update school contact preferences (father as primary contact for some things). Father takes children to medical appointments (becomes known there). Either parent runs school holiday logistics in alternate years. Father owns whole categories of household responsibility (not just helping with tasks).
Why this is hard
Schools and other systems default to mother. Other parents (often mothers themselves) expect default mother. Father may resist taking on actual ownership. Internalised expectation that 'mother is in charge of children' even from yourself.
Slow shift over years. Don't expect immediate redistribution. Two-year project for most families; the relief once accomplished is significant.