Motherhood

Why You Should Let Children See You Cry Sometimes

Why You Should Let Children See You Cry Sometimes

Children of parents who hide all emotion learn that adults don't feel — or shouldn't show feeling. Brief emotional moments witnessed (sad about a death, moved by a film, frustrated about a setback) teach that emotions are normal human experience.

What works

Brief explanation appropriate to age. 'I'm sad about Grandma. It's okay; I'm allowed to be sad.' Then continue the day. Don't burden child with managing your emotions; don't pretend nothing happened.

Modelling matters more than instruction. Children develop emotional regulation by watching adults; hidden emotion produces confused adults.